PeTA's Idea of Ferret Care

Ferret Care, according to PeTA: http://www.helpinganimals.com/animalsHome_ferrets.asp

Where do we start? How about the very first thing that sends warning signals to almost any ferret owner worth their ferretone:

"Vitamin supplements such as ferretone and linatone and small amounts of fresh fruits and vegetables aren’t strictly necessary, especially if you provide a high-quality cat food, but they can contribute to good health if they are supplied in the proper amounts."

Have we all read that? Given in small amounts, fresh fruits and vegetables are okay! Except, you know, for the chance of internal blockages part. Or the ferret doesn't actually get any nutritional value from them part. Or the sugar content of fruits has been linked to insulinomas in ferrets part. This is one of the biggest problems with ferrets - the fact that people give them sweet fruits like raisins and bananas because the ferret likes it, or it might help it. Fruits do not help ferrets, they are carnivores and any plant matter they might ingest would be predigested already. Vegetables can lead to blockages, and I have yet to meet a ferret that is content to chow down on a carrot or celery stick.

Let's backtrack just a moment:
"Ferrets must eat a high-protein cat food, but keep in mind that most ferrets dislike fish flavors."

Just because I needed to ask this: If most ferrets dislike fish flavors, does that mean the four ferrets I've had so far have been anomalies, since they all like the taste of tuna, salmon oil, and herring? Also, and I've done this myself,  the juices from a can of tuna trickled over the ferrets food is a great way of getting picky ferrets to try something new.

Next? Next:

"Nail-trimming is best left to a veterinarian, unless you are confident that you won’t nick a blood vessel. Do not declaw your ferret."

Yes, okay. I will be taking in my ferrets every 3-5 days to get their nails trimmed. Honestly? Their nails are see-through, you can see exactly where the quick is. I've been trimming ferret nails for five years now and I haven't over clipped even one nail yet. Ferretone on the belly, or in a cup in front of them, and there you go - easy-peasy nail trimming. Note to PeTA: Ferrets are not cats in this instant, they won't scratch you up if you mess around with their paws for nail trimmings.

Okay, let's skip the "horrible neglectful pet stores" part...

"If more than one ferret will be living in your home, expect “dominance fighting” to take place in the beginning."

Okay, this is nitpicky, but - ugh - it is not "dominance fighting", it is dominance fighting, without the quotations. It is not fighting that mimics dominance fighting, it is actual dominance fighting. You really don't need the quotation marks.

"Human food—even ferret-safe human food, including fruits and vegetables, is harmful in large quantities"

No. Just, no. Stay away from the fruits and vegetables. Ferrets aren't omnivores, trust me. Why are they being presented as such here? I just don't understand.

"When you aren’t home to supervise your ferret, you may decide to enclose him or her in a ferret-proof room or in a roomy, metal mesh cage—one that is at least 18 inches long, 18 inches deep, and 30 inches wide, though larger enclosures are preferable."

Whoever wrote this part apparently failed geometry. I'm not sorry saying that, because it is true. I suspect the cage they are talking about exists on maybe the fifth or sixth dimension, considering I have never seen a cage in our current dimension which can, at the same time, be both 18 inches long and 30 inches wide - in other words, be both 18 inches and 30 inches on the same length.
I'm going to just going to assume that one of those 18 inches is the height dimension, and look at this as a 18 x 18 x 30 inch cage, which you know what? Maybe I could put a rat in there. Maybe. More like a couple of hamsters or gerbils. Whichever ferret ends up in a cage like that would need a huge amount of out-of-cage time. Good thing they added that "larger enclosures are preferable", but it almost sounds like an afterthought, what with them saying that the 18x18x30 cage is "roomy".

Oh, and "Don’t forget that ferrets can go for walks on a leash attached to a harness."
 Gee, that's nice of you to remind me in the Housing section.

This really sounds like on huge copy and paste, fill in the blanks job by someone who might know a friend of a friend of a friend whose cousin owned a ferret, like, ten years ago. Maybe. Maybe it's just a PeTArd trying to sound intelligent and ending up sounding like they don't know a clue about anything that has to do with ferrets.
I mean, honestly, when About.com knows more about ferret care than you do, then you're doing something wrong.